response

Questions and Responses

Q5:

My spouse and I have decided to divorce. We have two children. My spouse feels it’s best to hire a mediator instead of a divorce lawyer. I don’t really understand the difference between a mediator and a lawyer. Do we use the same mediator? Money is an issue for us. Is it less expensive to hire a mediator as opposed to a lawyer?

R:	From: Judith Lee Azaren Mediation is almost always far less expensive than litigation. However, you should consult with an attorney to learn what your rights and obligations are. Your attorney can help you formulate proposals and can help you with your negotiations. In mediation, you will negotiate directly with your spouse. The mediator will act as a facilitator to help you reach a resolution of all issues. You can’t effectively negotiate is you don’t know what you are entitled to receive under the law. A combination of mediation with support from attorneys is a great way to end your case faster and with less expense and acrimony. Best of luck! Judith Lee Azaren, Esq. Willingboro, New Jersey
R:	From: Glenn F. Kramar, JD (Mediate4u2@aol.com) You pose an interesting question. My pleasure to add my response. As to the issue of children and divorce. The legal aspects will involve decisions regarding child legal and physical custody, visitation, support and general instructions regarding the general child rearing to legal maturity of each child. The lawyer will at minimum prepare and present to the court the parenting plan and his/her client’s position. Some lawyers will spend quality (costly time) with the client in determining the "client’s" position, from which to argue that parties interests before the court. The mediator, as a neutral facilitatator will work with both parents to create the best parenting plan from the children’s point of view. The mutual agreement of the parents will be presented to the judge for adoption. If the divorcing parents are able with the mediator, who’s hourly rate is generally much less that one (1) lawyer, let alone from two(2) opposing attorneys, can work out in joint session(s) the needed elements for the court, it will be substantially less costly. A good paralegal can draft the papers required by the court where there is an "uncontested" divorce matter. The key is to engage a mediator who is capable of assisting the divorcing parties to reach a mutually agreeable settlement on the issues of : (1) child custody and support; (2) Spousal support (if this is pertinent); and (3) Division of community property in community property states. This is a competency issue regarding the mediator. Choose wisely! There are many possible additional questions, as to jurisdiction, age of the children, interestes of the parents as well as the children, beliefs of all parties, etc. The answer given here is quite brief, but I would hope helpful. I would be happy to consult further if you wish. Sincerely, Glenn F. Kramar, JD (Mediator, 12 yrs.)"Creative Solutions to Life’s Conflicts"
R:	From: Lawrence F. King, J.D. (www.ColoradoDivorceMediation.com) Although not the only or even the primary advantage of mediation, mediation costs are generally dramatically less than legal fees for a traditional contested divorce. Why is this? Well, there may be many reasons including an attorney's obligation to advocate zealously the interests of their single divorce client. In contrast, accomplished mediators are able to focus on the real concerns of spouses and parents (their “interests”) and not merely their view of what is required to protect themselves and/or their children (their “positions”). Mediation works because the parties can directly hear the other party’s concerns and, with the assistance of the neutral mediator, accommodate those concerns without unnecessarily compromising their own interests. Freed from the role of acting as an advocate for a single party (the ethical obligation of an attorney), a mediator can envision options that neither party (nor their counsel) imagined! But consider also that a great deal of time and money is inevitably lost in communicating through third parties. (Imagine the following: a message from you to your divorce attorney’s secretary is forwarded to his or her paralegal and then to your attorney.. The attorney speaks with your spouse’s attorney’s staff, then to your spouse’s attorney, then to your spouse. A reply is then relayed in the same loop only in reverse!) Your separate meetings with separate attorneys, their telephone calls with you and each other, settlement conferences and preparations for court - all of these are adjuncts to the litigated approach to divorce. This can expend a lot of a great deal of two professionals’ time and effort and sometimes unnecessarily escalate costs. Mediation of divorce or parenting disputes can accelerate discussions and resolutions. The legendary costs of divorce hearings can quickly deplete any assets you have accumulated during your marriage. In contrast, mediation, relying as it does on direct communication and the divorce mediator’s skill in keeping the dialog constructive and focused, accelerates the conclusion of divorce or parenting disputes. Almost always, this affords very substantial cost savings. ****************************************** I hope this is helpful to your understanding. Best of luck to you! Sincerely, Lawrence F. King, J.D., Colorado Divorce Mediator (attorney-trained mediator limiting practice to divorce and family mediation)